Child sexual abuse hits home for local grandma

When images of child sexual abuse statistics splash across the TV or darken the pages of print media, the first response of most people is that's an "out there" kind of problem, that it doesn't happen in Vernon County. However, that's not the case. Child sexual abuse does happen in Vernon County -- a lot more than people think -- but there are places that victims can go to get help, and one local resident wants to make sure victims know they're not alone. Jean's story One Vernon County resident, Jean, has seen the horrors of child sexual abuse close up. Jean (last name withheld to protect the identity of the victim) has suffered through watching her own granddaughter deal with the effects of sexual abuse. Jean said her daughter had given birth to a little girl when she was 16, and by age 19 she had moved in with an older man. "One night, about two weeks after she had moved in with this guy, she let my granddaughter spend the night with me. She (the granddaughter) was sexually acting out, doing things a two year old shouldn't do," said Jean. "She did strange things, like kissing her dollies (around) their private areas." In an effort to take the little girl away from Jean's daughter -- the only way to ensure her safety from the boyfriend -- the father of the child tried to get an order of protection, but laws dictated that there had to be a physical examination to check for sexual contact. "I held her in my arms while they did the examination. She had not been penetrated but by her reaction the nurse practitioner was sure something had happened to her," said Jean. Jean called the prosecutor, but while it was fairly conclusive that some sort of sexual abuse had happened, there was no forensic evidence that it was the daughters boyfriend. The girl was also too young to offer testimony -- so no charges were filed The little girl's access to her mother and the boyfriend, who are still living together, was only slightly limited. Jean wept softly as she said, "You can only do what the law says. We need to do something to change the law. In the case of Jean's granddaughter, there is a glimmer of hope. Since she was so young when the abuse happened, and provided it never happens again, Jean said there is a possibility that she won't remember it. But there is not much consolation in that thought for Jean. "Once something like that has happened you can't take it away," said Jean. However, this hope is rapidly waning because since Jean's granddaughter was given limited contact to her mother and mothers boyfriend she has experienced nightmares and has shown unusual behavior. Jean feels a great deal of helplessness and apprehension for the future. "I shudder to think is this going to come back to haunt my granddaughter. Is she going to have problems for the rest of her life because of what he did to her and there he is walking around the street, cocky as he can be, like 'You can't touch me,'" said Jean. What to look for Warning signs of sexual abuse vary depending on both the age of the child and other individual characteristics. Younger children tend to act out a little more and may start using language and terms for sexuality that is beyond their age group. Another warning sign for younger children is if they start behave in a sexually inappropriate manner toward other kids An older child may begin to play with dolls and may experience social regression. Regardless of the child's age, parents should watch for a drastic change in behavior and should know their child well enough to tell when something is wrong. If children are secretive or afraid about certain people or places or they start acting out sexual scenarios it is time to pay attention. The "From Darkness to Light" web site reports that 25 percent of child sexual abuse happens before the child has turned nine. Children should know that it is wrong for adults to touch the child's genitals, masturbate in front of them, perform oral sex on them, penetrate them sexually, or even tease them in a sexual way. There were 18 cases of child sexual abuse reported last year in Vernon County reports the Children Division of the Department of Social Services. Experts at the "From Darkness to Light" web site estimate that one in ten cases of sexual abuse are reported. So, in all likelihood, one hundred and eighty children were sexually abused in Vernon County last year. Cherrie Bea Tally, Circuit Manager for 28th circuit of Children Division of Department of Social Services, said 28.57 percent of the calls for the Child Abuse and Neglect Hotline calls in 2002 referred to sexual maltreatment. Where to go The Children's Division of the Department of Social Services can provide referrals to community resources, monthly visits by social workers and subsidize mental health treatment. It provides a good starting point. "Sometimes people just have to be very vigilant and if they have a relative child or neighbor child that they think is being sexually abused then they have to watch closely," said Tally. If they are relatively sure of their allegations then they should place a call to the Child Abuse and Neglect Hotline. Once cause is established the Children's Division begin the process of protecting the victims. "Normally," said Tally. "If the sexual perpetrator is in the home we require that he is removed from the home to keep the children safe. That is one of our main concerns, to keep the children safe." The ramifications of reporting sexual misconduct may rock the foundations of family relationships and friendships, but there is a reason. "Sexual abuse almost always effects the child emotionally or mentally and they have to live with that for the rest of their life," said Tally. Victims Advocacy Victims have rights," said "Pete" Schmidt, Victim/Witness Advocate for the Vernon County Prosecutors Office. While it may seem like the perpetrators of crimes have a great deal of privileges victims have rights also. State law declares that victims can get information about the case and the perpetrator, including when they are going to be released or if they have escaped, if they submit a written request. There is also medical compensation available for victims through the Crime Victim's Compensation. This will provide funding to cover a loss of earnings, funeral expenses or medical, drug and counseling expenses. To qualify there does not have to be a convictions or even charges filed, just a police report. "All they have to do is call me, said Schmidt. For more information on child sexual abuse contact the Vernon County Juvenile Office at (417) 667-5015, the Children's Center of Southwest Missouri at (866) 230-9780, The Child Abuse and Neglect Hotline at (800) 392-3730 or MoCASA at (573)636-8776. More information on victims rights can be found at the Missouri Office for Victims of Crime at(866) 566-8267. "It just makes you want to take your family and wrap their arms around them and watch every move they make to keep something from happening to them," said Jean.