Pros and cons

I had been pondering ideas for a Memorial Day article for several days. I decided that the best thing to use was a collection of thoughts. After all, Memorial Day is the time we are meant to stop and look back at those who have gone on before. That is different from the lifestyle most of us live and practice. Our society generally lives for today and history is not very popular. The first and most obvious significance for Memorial Day is and always has been for the Americans who have given their lives in battle. This is truly a story that is unbelievable when you begin to uncover the facts.

If you add the deaths for the major conflicts of the United States during the 228 years since the Declaration of Independence, it is staggering. In the Revolutionary War, War of 1812, Mexican War, Civil War, Spanish War, World War I, World War II, Korean War, Vietnam War, and the Gulf War, U.S. Department of Defense records show 804,813 deaths in battle. There were close to double that figure of non-battle deaths, and wounded numbered more than the total of all deaths.

The two conflicts that far outstrip all other wars in statistics were the Civil War and World War II. These two bloody conflicts account for more than two thirds of all our losses. In fact the very idea of a Memorial Day was first brought into existence during the Civil War, known originally as Decoration Day.

On my morning walk, I came across the Square and saw a small crowd of the faithful who were there for the Memorial Day Observance. The number of people who attend now compared to the crowds of many years ago is quite small. Memorial Day for most Americans has become the first day of the summer holidays, not a day of decoration or remembrance. In this case I am just as guilty as are many of you. It is a sad but true fact that most of us just don't seem to have the time to stop and pay our respects. My father is buried in the National Cemetery in Fort Scott. I have visited the site a few times, but have never been there for the Memorial Day ceremony.

The irony of this lack of honor by many of us is that those who paid the sacrifices would probably be the first to forgive us. As Tom Brokaw related over and over in his books about America's greatest generations from World War II, none of them ever sought or wanted lots of honors or ceremonies after they returned. Most of them wanted to get on with their lives and raise their families to have a better life than they had. They would most likely be happy to see us celebrate the holiday with our own families in the multitude of activities that take place this weekend. They would never begrudge us the free and happy lives they helped to provide us. And my friends that is why we owe them, to at least once a year stop and remember respectfully what they did for us. Not because they asked for it, but because they did not ask. Lately the news has been so bad that most of us don't want to stop and even think about war. I remember the times during the Vietnam conflict when America was separated over their feelings about that war. We are now in another mess. I don't know as I am sure many of you don't, what the right thing to do is. I am sure that we need to support our troops and honor their sacrifices just as much as those of any other conflict.

Last night on "60 Minutes," they showed the faces of most of the approximately 800 lives we have lost in Iraq. Regardless of how this thing ends, we must not allow the deaths of any of these young people to be considered in vain.

No one can see the future. It will become clear, of that you can be assured, but the losses must stand to remind us of what we have learned from this particular war.

On another subject, I was informed by a friend of something that had happened today that was disturbing to them. They asked and I willingly agreed to include their concerns in my column. In fact it was not something that had happened that disturbed them, but rather something that did not happen. While decorating a grave at Newton Cemetery, this friend noted how sad the graves looked this year. He said he had never seen so few flowers.

One grave sort of represented his thoughts about how we were neglecting Memorial Day. It was the grave of the late Finis Moss. He was shocked that a man who was such a significant part of our local history should have an unadorned grave on Memorial Day. I had to admit that I was surprised myself (this was as at mid-morning on Memorial Day. If someone decorated later in the day, I apologize, I am only using this as an example). I knew Mr. Moss only slightly. Like many others I knew him mostly from the business success he enjoyed, and from the charitable trust he left behind.

Over the past years since his death, the trust has dispensed a lot of money into a variety of projects in our local area. His trust I assume will continue for many years to come.

To many people Mr. Moss was an unlikely person to leave such a trust of funds for charity. He was known as a hard nosed businessman, who counted every penny. I remember working at a local grocery store as a young man when he came in to shop. He always bought simple foods and looked for things on sale. He was what one called "tight," but that is probably the reason he had the money that he was able to leave for our use.

Memorial Day is for all those who have preceded us. Our families, friends, veterans, and people like Mr. Moss. We owe them a few moments of thoughtfulness and thanks. If you missed this year, make it a point to take time next year before you head out to some other holiday activity. Stop and pay your respects. You will feel better for it.