Personality test proved very unlikable
"How Likable Are You?" the test asked.
It was like an SAT, only with more at stake.
I consider myself likable. And I should know. I spend 24 hours a day with myself, and I've come to realize that, good times or bad, I'll always be there for myself.
The test asked you to rate yourself from zero to 10 in different behavior categories, with zero being "never" and 10 being "daily."
The first part related to likability.
"I smile and have a pleasant tone of voice."
You mean like every day? Every year, sure. Every month, probably. Some weeks are better than others.
"I maintain a positive, optimistic attitude even when things are going badly." Yes, I do. It's when things are going well that I start to worry.
"People tell me their problems because I am approachable and a good listener." Finally, one I could give myself a good score for.
Not only am I an incredibly good listener, I am willing to sit down and take the time to really understand people's problems and empathize with them.
It's not something I can take credit for. It just seems I was born with an extra quart -- or perhaps a gallon -- of the milk of human kindness flowing through my veins.
Naturally, there's a limit to this sort of thing. My personal limit is three seconds. After that, I'm ready to slap somebody silly.
Which is a good thing, because if you're going to sit there and listen to people drone on and on about their ridiculous, unimportant little problems -- for seven, eight, even 10 seconds -- then you're no longer helping them.
You've become an enabler.
Far better to cut them off with a compassionate and sensitive "Shut up already!" than to let them continue wallowing in a sea of self-pity. (Trust me, they'll thank you for it later. And if they don't, they can drop dead.)
"Others see me as honest, trustworthy and sincere." Yes, particularly the gullible sort who believe what I'm saying.
"I am sensitive and understanding of other people's feelings." Here we go with the touchy-feely stuff again. Sure, why not?
The second part of the test asked you to rate unlikability.
"Others have said that they think I am self-centered." I don't know, maybe. Who listens?
"I get distracted when listening to others." Not anymore. I am able to tune people out completely, so becoming distracted from my thoughts is no longer a problem.
"I am critical and intolerant of others." Virtually never, except of course of all those fatheads you meet everywhere.
The actual scoring seemed highly unfair. Even with some perfectly understandable fudging of the truth in several categories, such as those relating to honesty and sincerity, I still scored a minus 37, which put me just behind Attila the Hun and the Wicked Witch of the West and just ahead of Bill O'Reilly.
If I weren't such a doggone likable guy, I'd find whoever developed this test and punch him in the nose.
Write to Don Flood in care of King Features Weekly Service, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475, or send e-mails to dflood287@comcast.net.