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Home away from home
By Lynn A. Wade
Herald-Tribune
They call it the "House that Love Built."
More than a place to stay, for many the Ronald McDonald House is a place of comfort and refuge that makes it possible for parents to stay close to their hospitalized children.
"It was a lifesaver," said Melissa Lunsford, Altamont, Kan., who stayed in the Ronald McDonald House of the Four States in Joplin for 11 days, while premature twins born to her and her husband Terry became strong enough to go home.
"It's not natural to go home without your children. It goes against every instinct you have. We knew we didn't have it as bad as some, but when it's happening to you it's the worst feeling," to have a child in the hospital and to be far away from home, Melissa said.
A Fort Scott couple, Shannon and Kris Bollinger, stayed in the facility until little Dalton Bollinger could be released from the neonatal intensive care unit.
In a letter to the facility, Dalton's grandparents, Terry and Susan Wood, Fort Scott, said, "Your organization provided his Mama, Daddy and family the use of your beautiful home… without an organization like yours -- I don't know what we would have done."
The Stephens family of Goodman, Mo., wrote, on behalf of little Reagan Abby Stephens, "While I spent 10 days in the NICU, provided a place for Mommy and Daddy to stay, so they could visit me as much as possible! Mommy and Daddy are very thankful they had a warm place to sleep, take a shower and delicious food to eat!"
Guests of the Ronald McDonald House are pre-screened by hospitals and referred by the hospital. If they can pay a $10 nightly fee, they're asked to do so, but they can stay for free if necessary.
Since 1998, hundreds of families from Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma and Arkansas have stayed at the home. Some of them were awaiting the birth of a child at the end of a troubled pregnancy. Some were waiting for the day they could take their child home. Some were waiting to adopt. Still others have children who are trauma victims, have needed a specialized surgery or who have an illness that requires an extended stay in the hospital.
Ronald McDonald houses have cropped up all over the country, with the Joplin facility opening in 1998.
The purpose of the home is remarkably evident in its design, and the structure lends itself in almost every way to the needs of those who might be using it.
The Ronald McDonald House of the Four States has 10 guest rooms, with a desk or table and chair, bed and furnishings for personal belongings.
A diary is left in the room where guests can write thoughts. Each room has its own bathroom to allow for individual privacy, but no television.
"We want the people to come out of their rooms, to see one another and interact," said RMH board member Bill Wyrsch, conducting a tour for the media on Tuesday.
There's an enclosed play area for small children inside the home, with transparent walls, which Wyrsch said keeps most of the noise inside the room but allows parents to be outside the room and still keep an eye on their children.
A volunteer stays overnight in case some sort of services are needed. Outside there's a lounge area, and there's a small conference room where families can meet with a doctor if needed.
There's also a tiny chapel, where families of any faith can meet with clergy or simply enjoy a moment of solitude.
Guests can bring their own food, which can be stored in individual refrigerators or individual cupboards, but volunteers often cook at the facility or provide meals in other ways.
"Sometimes restaurants will call and say, 'how many people do you have' and bring over food for everyone. The support we get, little things from the community, volunteers, everything -- it's overwhelming, and we appreciate it very much," Wyrsch said.
All of this is done with just three paid workers, and more than 100 volunteers.
"This is just an awesome place," said Jim Goodnight, RMH board member.
There's also a Ronald McDonald House near Children's Mercy Hospital in Kansas City that has been used by many local residents, but at the RMH of the Four States alone, 44 families from Nevada have spent 481 nights since Aug. 20, 1998. A total of 47 Fort Scott families have spent 501 nights in the facility. Families from Bronaugh, El Dorado Springs, Lamar, Metz, Milo, Moundville, Rich Hill, Sheldon and Stockton in Missouri, as well as Mapleton, Uniontown and Redfield in Kansas have spent, cumulatively, nearly 700 nights
Goodnight believes that's mostly because of an active referral system, but also because "it's the people who live farther away who need us. That's who uses the Ronald McDonald House," he said.