People we honor

Every year when Mother's Day rolls around I think of some way to vary the celebration. When my own mother was alive I am sure we made an effort to come visit her, or go visit Lester's mother in Branson. However I can't remember any special way we observed the day. Actually it probably meant that they had to cook a big meal because of us coming to visit.

When I was a child in Washington, D.C. (we were always still there this early in May) I don't remember that my older siblings did anything to honor our mother. Probably we gave her some gift, but that long ago I can't remember any specific one. Years later when we were going through the sad job of taking care of our parents' possessions after their deaths, we found many unused articles of clothing, linens for the house or similar things that had been birthday, Christmas or Mother's or Father's Day gifts. They had not used many of those gifts. Hopefully they appreciated the thought anyway. But this was before regifting was acceptable, so the things were just put away and probably forgotten.

Now that I am the mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and great-great-grandmother I certainly don't want each of these offspring to present me with a gift. They need to concentrate on the generations nearest them and also not forget the ones they inherited through marriage. I counted the number of mother (grands or greats) figures that one great-grandchild had and I realized that if she gave each of us a remembrance it would be almost as bad as Christmas shopping.

What I think would be a perfect gift would be for each potential heir to come together with the others, some day after Mother's Day is over, and scour the house from top to bottom and then I could take them all out for supper. I could make a list of everything I would like to see done in the house or lawn. And then I would let them choose who does what.

Several years ago for a special birthday when the family was a little smaller, the kids all got together and remodeled and added onto our deck for my gift. I either sit out there, or look at it a dozen times a day and think of their labors for me. I think they even had fun doing it as well.

Along with this idea would be the plan to consolidate the gift giving so that one year they recognize one of our birthdays. The next year it could be our anniversary. And other times it could be either Mother's or Father's Day. With the two of us that would make four years taken care of with one or the other of us honored and getting to choose what is done, and then for the anniversary maybe we could let the family choose. We have three years until our next really big anniversary comes up so that would give them time to think up something.

I could have included Christmas in this scenario, but it comes in the winter and that's not a good time for some of the things that need to be done. Our anniversary and birthdays are all either in the spring or the fall. Any of them could be great work days.

I really don't want our children to think I am hinting with my idea, so if any of you happen to see any of them, don't mention this to them. It might seem a little presumptuous on my part. But actually it would keep things up to snuff better for the day when they will have the task of doing something about the place.

It sounds to me like it might please them more than digging deep into drawers and finding 15 unused pajamas, four clip on ties, 17 bedroom slippers, and numerous scarves, gloves and hats.

So maybe it would be OK for you to suggest that this might be the week when they could honor their father and mother by reading the Middle Age Plus column for once.

I'll keep you posted.