What grandma used to tell us

This week many of us will be gathering together to not only ask the Lord's Blessings. We will be gathering together to exchange stories about our grandparents. If we're lucky enough to have our grandparents at the meal with us, then we will encourage them to share memories with us about their Thanksgivings (with the Indians??) and store up those stories for times when they will not be present.

At the same time, remember that you are someone's grandparent, aunt, uncle or distant cousin who will someday be the topic of conversation at family meals. Just in case I am exaggerating the importance of your older relatives in your Thanksgiving gatherings I have collected some sayings of my own grandparents, parents, and older siblings to refresh my mind. Some of these people are not too old even now. Some may only be 90 or so, but they still like to share wisdoms learned along the way.

I will list (when possible) who was the author of these sayings and then give the quotation. Be prepared that others may remember the situation or the quotation differently, but hope that you each had the same fondness for the relative you are quoting.

My sister Gertrude who was a librarian in the Library of Congress was the one who contributed many wise remarks to any family dinner. The one I am remembering today is, "Doing nothing takes up a great deal of time. All the time in fact!"

My Grandfather Welch gave my sister Ellen and me this wise (?) advice one summer day in Stanberry, Mo. "That ice cream cone will taste better if you bite the bottom of the cone off before you start eating the ice-cream." I can't quote what my mother and grandmother said to him when we all three arrived home.

Grandma Thornton had her own canned fruits and vegetables and her canned blackberries in the winter, over biscuits or a plain cake were delicious. They weren't where they could get or keep ice cream easily but real cream also was great. She served that to my parents on their "get acquainted visit" and my father made himself almost sick taking seconds and thirds of the dessert.

Speaking of getting sick, Papa rarely referred to bodily functions or organs. Instead he would refer to a problem in his inside innerds. If he had been awake from his operation when Dr. Wray was explaining to my mother and me, with illustrations sketched with his finger on his own ample tummy, he would have been as dismayed as our mother was. Then he said, hitting my father's feet, which were still elevated from the surgery, "These 79-year-old fellows are damn hard to keep alive in surgery."

Papa did forget his usual practice about this type of conversation when he told one of his favorite jokes. He said a man asked the minister to please pray for his father's floating kidneys. The minister replied that he could pray for good health, but he didn't pray for specific parts of the body. The man indignantly replied, "But you're always praying for the loose livers!"

My Aunt Gladys who was a good writer, but was never able to get anything published, had given me one of her short stories to critique. I told her it was good. She pulled the manuscript out of my hands and said; "Don't damn me with faint praise." As I reached that same position in my writing attempts, I remember her advice.

That is why I appreciated you readers so much because you often will tell me why you like my stuff, and some have even said they didn't like the part about looking old.

I'm sorry about that but that same Aunt Gladys also said, "Never try to cover up your age. If you look your age, they know how old you are. If you look younger than you are, you should let them know so they will see how well you have aged. If you look older than you are then you'd better let them know that you aren't that old or they will put you in the old folk's category too soon.

So my saying for the day is "Give thanks for what you still have, thank others for helping you keep that much of you alive and well, and thank God you don't look as bad as you feel."