Middle Age Plus

"What was the name of that woman who made that pretty pillow for us?"

"I can't come up with it right now. I remember that her son's name was Eddie"

"Yes, that's right, he became a judge, didn't he?"

"Yes, Let me think -- Eddie -- Oh yes, the last name is Smith"

"Okay then what was his mother's name?"

"It was a short name, something like Sarah."

No, Sarah was in another town. Eddie's mother's name was something like Mary or Maude. But those aren't right."

"I'm going through the alphabet. Maybe a name will come to me."

"This is awful. She was a good friend and we can't remember her name."

Dead silence continues for a minute. A cat comes by wanting to be petted, and we busy ourselves taking burrs out of his fur. A car goes by and we watch to see who is passing. Then suddenly, "Fern!!!"

"Yes, that's it. She was Fern."

Such conversations occur at our house daily. We excuse ourselves in that we know so many people that we can't keep all the names straight in our head. That reasoning holds up until we can't remember the name of someone who sits near us at church in the present.

A first sign of senility? An omen of Alzheimer's? A poor memory? All of the above? Many of our readers join us in this malady. I meet people each day who tell me their name when we meet. I wonder if they remember that I have this failing, but they say that they have started this practice because if they tell someone their name right off the bat, then the other person will probably respond with their own name. I have fouled up their plan at times by saying; "Of course I know who you are."

Then they confess their purpose.

I think that is really a good idea. First it makes you appear to be non-assuming. You don't think you are important enough for others to remember your name. Others will feel comfortable because they don't have to frantically search the attic of their brain to come up with your name. They can use that energy enjoying your visit, and trying to remember the name of other family members you need to ask about.

I met a person once who was what we then called deaf and dumb. (Now we would say he was hearing and speech impaired.) He carried a 3-by-5 card with his name, and the fact that he couldn't speak printed on the card along with the message that he desired to know you. My response was to smile, shake his hand and then wonder what to do next. It turned out he was selling something and he produced another card explaining his product. By then he had me hooked. I couldn't refuse to buy after the smile and handshake, could I? He possibly went around the corner and literally told his friends he had made a sale. I didn't follow to see. But I remember that man and thought it might be a good plan for those of us middle age plus folk. We could carry a calling card and when we meet a friend or an acquaintance, we could produce the card and explain that we don't expect to be remembered, at least by name, but you hope this will help.

If this caught on, we could all have a little folder in our purse or pocket to carry these cards for instant identification with no embarrassment.

Now, if there was only a way to put those cards in our memory bank!