'Where everybody knows your name'

I remember the theme song from "Cheers" on television fondly. I used it as the basis for a talk I gave once explaining that we all respond better if the person talking to us, or teaching us, called us by name. This morning when I called "Time and Temperature" to see if we were going to be warm or cold today I was asked if I didn't like to go where people knew my name. That was the advertising pitch for the sponsor of the time and temperature service we enjoy. I answered into the phone that I certainly do like that.

I admire a person who can remember someone's name after just one introduction. I never seemed to be able to master that ability. I've been told it was because I didn't try hard enough, or I wasn't interested enough in the other person.

I don't think that is true. I even have trouble remembering the names of actors on my favorite shows. If I remember the character's name I think I am doing well. But trying to remember the person who plays that character is harder for me.

I'll show my age by thinking fondly of the way the marquees in "the olden days" had one or two of the stars' names in large letters above the entrance to the theater. Now, with six shows being shown in one theater there obviously isn't room for that much information until you get close enough to read the posters displayed on the wall.

On the television shows the names are rather small and they don't stay on the screen long enough to get your attention. But even if they were I probably wouldn't remember them the first time I saw them.

This weakness in my abilities doesn't bother me too much. What bothers me is that I often can't remember the name of someone I have known well for years. The family laughs at Lester's and my attempts to tell a story about someone from one of our former churches. We remember all the details except the actual names of the people we are talking about. "You know, they lived out past the water plant on that little road with the house painted a terrible shade of green." "I know who you mean. They had a big Persian cat that always rubbed against your pant legs and left her fur on your pants. Their son's name was Bob." Usually when we thought of one name in the family we could eventually remember the rest of the names.

While we were not doing it to entertain the family, we could pass it off with a laugh. But when we were talking to someone else in that church it could become a problem when the name wouldn't come to us. Often this would be someone we knew and liked quite well. Why our brains went blank so often when we needed to say their names puzzles me. And why it often happened to both of us about the same people is another problem.

I can remember who sat in front of me in the fifth grade at Janey School in Washington, D.C. I can remember his name and also remember he didn't give me a Valentine that year. I can name all my teachers from kindergarten through the sixth grade.I might have trouble coming up with some from junior high and high school, but I remember the ones I had in most of the important subjects. But when I look at the yearbook I have to realize that even at that younger age, there were some friends whose names I didn't remember.

The co-workers in some of my jobs in other towns were important to me at the time, but I can't remember their names now unless it was my boss, or a special friend. But even then I might draw a temporary blank.

I think I have heard other middle age people saying they have the same problem I am writing about. When I think of all the friends who have left this earth it bothers me if I can't remember their names. They were too important to me to not be remembered by name.

For that reason I want to be sure that my name, correctly spelled, is on my tombstone when I die. I don't want my friends to come to the service and have trouble remembering my name I especially want the minister to remember it.