Concern for another can cure ills

Did you ever try to throw a pity party and no one would come? You were feeling so tired and worn out that you'd think that everyone who saw you would rush to give you support. But no long sighs brought any relief from the other people nearby. Wiping your brow didn't make anyone take notice. You wanted nothing more than a pat on the arm or a sympathetic word or two, but none were coming.

When that happens to me I begin to think about the old joke about when a family had the minister and his family come for dinner. When it was time to eat, the mother, trying to show off her well trained children, asked the youngest child to ask the blessing. The child was shy in front of the others and didn't know what to say. His mother coached him by saying, "You know, dear, say what you've heard Mommy saying, just start Dear God." The child obediently says, "Dear God why did I invite these folks to dinner on such a hot day?" That mother had obviously been having a pity party all by herself but hadn't expected to have it shared so clearly.

I also think of the children's story in the older primers about the Little Red Hen. Maybe some of you grew up with this story also. The little red hen started to plant some wheat and asked the other animals to help her. "Not I" said the fox, (and on through all the other animals). Then when it grew she said, "Who will help me cut the wheat?" Again, all the animals reply, "Not I." Then who will help me grind the wheat, and who will help me make the bread? Once more every animal says "Not I." Then she asks who will help her eat the bread and they are all willing, but the little red hen says, "No, I will eat the bread. I sowed it, cut it, ground it and made the bread so I will eat it." There must be some hidden reason why I remember that story so vividly for so long!

But back to my own pity party. When I am really serious about throwing such a party I usually mention all the ailments I have had in the past year to get some sympathy or help. It doesn't work. Usually instead of getting sympathy I get a recital from everyone in the room about all the things that have been bothering them, too. It's funny how many illnesses seemed much more serious than the ones I just mentioned. Actually I end up feeling sorry for them.

But isn't it a great relief when you are in this type of mood to have someone act like she is really concerned about you? Instead of letting the "How are you" become an alternate way of saying hello, she said she really wanted to know how you were feeling. Listening to a minor problem, or saying she had been thinking about you, could ease any pains you were feeling. It erased the need for a pity party completely.

That gesture of concern can really cure many ills. It got me to thinking how often I had not noticed someone else trying to have a pity party. I had to realize that I might have even gone out of my way to avoid a certain person because she always seemed to have the need to lay down her burdens on my shoulders. Perhaps if I had listened more often that wouldn't have happened so often.

It's sometimes hard to realize that other people have the same need to be heard as I do. And it is easy to be like the animals that didn't help the little red hen. When I experienced the relief I felt from one caring person I couldn't turn around and say, "Not I" to another person with some needs.

OK. I have preached my sermon. I hope I will be able to live up to it myself. But I have enough of the little red hen in me to go ahead and eat the bread all by myself if others didn't see my needs! I always thought she had every right to enjoy every crumb in that loaf of bread by herself.