Leftovers define me

I've been thinking about changing my profile on Facebook. I know probably at least half of my readers are not on Facebook so you may not want to read about my problems there. But for you two who are on Facebook, do you have trouble making your profile sound like you think you should sound?

For example if I put down former something or other, should I just as well put down "Has been." When I "has been" a lot of different things in my life, which one do I put down? I could put down "has been a social worker." But I haven't done that since I was seventy or so. So I put down something more recent such as "has been a Road Scholar Instructor." But even the two of you who have Facebook probably don't know what being a Road Scholar Instructor is or does. I could keep it just being a columnist but that sounds sorta lonely all by itself. I couldn't be a good columnist if I hadn't been all of these other things along the way.

I could go way back and say I "has been a substitute teacher." That took more skills than I had when they put me in Senior Chemistry. I don't want to be remembered for that fiasco. I could put down "has been a stay at home mother." But I can hardly remember that myself when my oldest child is already a great grandfather.

I could put down "has been a school secretary." That was even in two different schools but certainly not at the same time. But that was before I had even heard about using computers. And before that I 'has been a cataloger in the University of Missouri Library." Oh, I know I probably should put down my first paying job. I 'has been' a baby sitter for 25 cents per hour. I saved it all for my hope chest.

That brings me to what some people think of me most often, "I has been the Minister's wife." But I was also a soldier's wife, a teacher's wife, a County Agent's wife, and now a retired preacher's wife. I can't say one was more important than the other.

But as a preacher's wife I was also a Day Care Director, a youth leader, a Sunday School teacher, tour director, van driver, and became very active in United Methodist Women beyond the local church where I "has been" almost every officer from local, District, Conference and Regional UMW.

I almost forgot I "has been" both a VISTA Volunteer and a VISTA Supervisor.

Gosh when I read this it sounds like it could be my obituary. That's one "has-been" that I haven't experienced yet.

When I put them all together it looks like hash or goulash, and really when it is all boiled down it really means that I am just a "has-been" but if I put that on the Facebook no one will know that I in my "has-been" roll that I've met a lot of great people and learned a little bit about a lot of things. I have little pieces of knowledge left from each of these "has-been" experiences. So I boil down to a meal of left-overs. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. If you don't like one thing, try another. Maybe with patience you can get a taste of the original meal. If you do, tell me how it tastes, will you?