When young cousins get together -- then and now

How many conversations started this holiday season with, "When I was a child?" I know I heard it at least once and I probably said it myself sometime recently. I have an excuse, however. I am the only one left in our big family that remembers any of the things about our family life when I was a child. I feel it is my duty to keep the stories going. So, here I go again...

When I was a child I didn't have any cousins my age that were close enough to see often. But there were several older cousins the age of my siblings who often came to our home on Sundays for dinner and would often stay until the left-overs supper. As a child I loved those days because they did include me in their afternoon activities. After the dishes were washed and put away the group would either begin a big game of Monopoly, go outside for a game of touch football, or gather in the living room for "parlor games" such as Charades, Hide the Thimble, Black Magic, etc. I ended up making a career out of teaching the games to other adults in my middle age plus years.

When my own children came along there were often two or three other families with children visiting our parents at the same time and depending on the weather they would join in running and hiding games, board games such as Clue, Trivial Pursuit, or some of the "parlor games" again.

Very soon it seems our children had children of their own and their cousins also had children. When they came to visit they would turn on the television either to watch a football game or the younger ones would want to turn on the cartoons or Captain Kangaroo. They would either sit and watch the big TV set, or spend time discussing which show they wanted to see. Some parents even brought videos that their own children liked so that they could be played even when they were away from home. They really liked it when we branched out with more than one TV set so that the older ones could watch the games while the younger ones watched some of their favorite shows. Conversations with the grandparents consisted of such deep things as, "Why don't you have cable TV?"

Now, these grandchildren have their own children and I am happy that they still come together on special occasions, but the gatherings are quite different. The children seem to come attached to a little something in their hands, which seems to demand most of their attention during the visit. Occasionally they will laugh and show a sibling or cousin something on the instrument in his/her hand. That might start some sharing as they show each other what they have seen or created in their little hand gadgets.

Sometimes I overhear a child say something to the nearest parent like, "Charlie wants to know what time we will be back home." I have no idea who Charlie is. None of the present guests were named Charlie and the telephone had not rung at all. That is, the telephone by my chair had not rung, but evidently some exchange was made with Charlie without any phone call or conversation.

I soon began noticing that the cousins were interacting more than I had thought at first. Even at the dinner table I could see that something was being said to one of the children, maybe even from the mother. No words were spoken, and the two were seated far enough apart that no under the table physical message could have been given. When we first sat down many of the relatives had their eyes cast down to their laps. I was pleased that they were waiting for the blessing. Then I found out they were discussing the menu between themselves on their hand gadgets.

That brought back memories about how my mother delivered messages to me without using words. Sometimes her eyes did the work. Other times a slight shake of her head and an expression on her face was enough. When all else failed she could pinch my leg under the table. That seemed to be the only need she had to deliver a message through her hands.