Open here as directed

Remember the old saying, "He's so weak he couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag?' That now needs to be changed to a plastic bag. Even though the packagers try very hard to make the bags easy to open, they need to try harder.

Some of them want us to tear across a certain line. Maybe you could if you had strong wrists and can grasp the bag tightly where you are directed. Older hands seem to have slippery fingers and trying to hold tight to a slick piece of plastic is quite a challenge.

When I was a young bride I used to wonder why some women kept a pair of scissors in their miscellaneous drawer in the kitchen. I now know perfectly why they did and why I do. When the little bag didn't/doesn't tear as diagrammed, let's get the scissors.

That takes care of one problem, but I don't believe it really handles all problems. For example, when you go into a café, or rather a truck stop café, have you noticed a sign saying, "Please Use the Other Door". Evidently this is hard to understand for some of the patrons, so some have put up a sign saying, "This is the other door." But if you get to that 'other door' first then the signals get quite mixed up. And if a place is good enough to need two doors, why can't they both be in use? I know. It's because they can't get it opened and so they let the signs tell how they solved their problem.

Back in the olden days, you opened a can of pop with a special bottle opener or used the hook at the end of the tin can opener. Sometimes a boy tried foolishly to impress his date by opening the can for her by using his teeth. There were also places on the car where you could hook the can in such a way as to make an opening. This was a good arrangement, wasn't it? Well there's always room for improvement. So now, here come the little tabs that you pull up, press back and have a nice drink. That is you will if your fingernails are long enough and strong enough to get in under the little tabs and pull them up. Usually the tabs don't cut you as you pull them up, but if they do, it is just a minor problem.

Most doors open easily but there is a big problem when two people go through the door at the same time. The problem enlarges if one of the two is a man and the other is a woman. Does the man still think it's his duty to open the door for the lady? Some women object to that service, saying that they can open their own doors, thank you. But sometimes it's the other way around and the man just goes charging in and gets these frowns from women present who noticed that he didn't open the door for that little old lady. For heaven's sake she must have been at least 40 years old.

Today I spent some time listening to music from the Internet. They started playing and singing, "Open the door, Richard." I had forgotten all about that song but as soon as it started I could supply the words right along with it. After a few repeated bars of the title it ended with, "Richard, why don't you open that door?" That started me thinking about how many other songs mentioned opening doors. Maybe it says something about me that most of the opening doors songs I can remember are religious. Maybe it would be effective to use the phrasing of the Richard song and put real people's names in the ending.

So, Carolyn, why won't you open that door?