Celebrating creativity

Hi neighbors. Although we've had little snow this year so far, we have had frigid temperatures and some snow. We have not always been so lucky and our neighboring states have been suffering through a mini ice age. So I thought I'd review some tips for getting into your house when there is snow and ice and you have no garage.

I have discovered that at a certain temperature, fingers are frozen in place and will not work correctly. Gloves or mittens only make things worse because having to take off gloves or mittens while standing at the back door digging through pockets or worse, pocketbook, to pull out house keys is almost impossible.

People on survival shows always say don't sweat when in freezing situations as it makes things worse. I know now one reason why that's true. If your gloves or mittens actually keep your hands warm, your hands sweat. Pulling off gloves or mittens while standing outside in the freezing air makes your fingers not work -- as I stated above.

So I either drop my gloves or mittens because my fingers will no longer grasp them, or I hold onto them and drop my keys.

It is some law of nature that when on the back porch; more like a back stoop in my case, and dropping keys: nine times out of 10 they will not fall onto the floor of the porch, or into the leaves or snow or ice next to the porch. Are my numbers correct? Go try it yourself as I did and you'll find it is nine out of 10 exactly.

Getting the keys then requires setting down onto the porch any thing you are carrying: purse, groceries, scarf, or drink for example. Then you have to put your frozen hands back into gloves or mittens that have frost forming in them since you took them off to get your door keys.

If there is no ice on the porch (like that happens in this scenario? I don't think so) you can hop right on down the steps and around the post and get the keys laying on the ground in plain sight.

If there is ice, or more likely ice on top of several inches of snow; then retrieving a set of keys becomes more hazardous to your health.

The welcome mat that is suppose to keep the porch dry in at least one spot, and supposed to offer traction when you approach the door; becomes a sled. One step and it goes flying out from under your feet. If you are lucky, you remember where it is under the snow and avoid it.

Then come the three stair steps. I never go down any stairs without holding onto a railing. That's just me; were I male I would wear both belt and suspenders. I am cautious.

The stairs are made of wood, so the stairs are always slick if there is ice or even melting snow. They are slick in a summer rain so what can you do?

Working my way down the three stair steps holding on with both gloved hands (well both arms circling the railing like hugging a bear) I move slowly downward.

If I clear the stairs with no problem, I arrive onto the patio tiles. In case you don't know it, snow or ice on patio tiles will melt quickly if there is sunshine. With a day of some sunshine and lots of gray skies, there will be small pieces of ice floating on these tiles. Very slippery!

Having navigated the tiles I approach the snow. I have found that walking on one's heels is the best way to navigate snow. So I do the German military "goose walk" for the five paces needed to reach the side of the porch.

There are five or six little pockets in the snow beside the porch. One of them, I reason, must have my keys in it. Of course, it is the last one I stick my gloved hand into, and oddly enough, the one filled with half melted water, and find my keys. Yeah! Now to get back up the mountain (back porch) without a total wipeout.

I get across the snow, over the tiles and up the steps without incident. Remember that welcome mat? I forgot it; but I found it! If I wasn't holding onto the railing with both arms, I would have flown and tobogganed all the way back to the car!

Until the next time friends remember to use the railings or better yet, just don't go out till spring!