Rage to live

In a recent conversation with a couple of friends, our discussion delved into the human condition of aging, and an individual's desire to accomplish many things, while they still had "time." Our discourse reminded me of a 50-year-old movie that had the same title as this story.

The 1965 movie starred a beautiful actress, Suzanne Pleshette. She had a long and distinguished acting career, but was perhaps best remembered for her role as the wife in a television comedy, "The Bob Newhart Show."

This movie did not receive much critical acclaim, and that was probably justified. Its plot is a bit bizarre as well, so I can't recommend it. I have not read the book, however it did receive decent reviews.

What made me think about the movie was the title. In just three simple words, I find perhaps the simplest definition, for the human struggle. Each and every one of us, from the day we are born, till the day we leave this life, is in a constant "rage to live."

I can't remember the first time the concept of death became a reality for me. More than likely it was from a television show or a movie, but those were just fictional demises.

At some point while I was still young, someone I knew left this life. It could have been a relative or just a family friend. I also don't recollect my initial attendance at a funeral. I am quite sure my parents would not have taken me, until they felt I had reached an age where I could begin to, dare I say, "appreciate" death, and the rituals involved with a funeral.

Even today, when I go to the service of a relative or friend, I have to steel myself, when it comes time to pass by the coffin. I suspect that is true for many of you too. A lifeless body is alien to us. It elicits uncomfortable responses in my mind every time.

Once we have reached the age where the knowledge of death is real, we pass a milestone. A large portion of our innocence is lost forever. We learn a new fear, and that is the fear of our own mortality.

This new revelation demands of us, that we live differently. We strive to make each and every minute, of each and every day meaningful. I have always loved one word from the Bible that addresses this concept. In several chapters there are verses that encourage followers to "live life abundantly."

A few years ago our culture gained some new insights in how to live life abundantly. Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, portrayed two past middle-aged men, who were dealing with cancer (likely terminal). "The Bucket List," dealt with this dark subject, using the theatrical vehicles, of both comedy and tragedy. It is a great story when it makes you both laugh and cry during the same movie.

It may only have been the title of a movie, but for many of us boomers, it became our latest catchword. It made it easier and acceptable to face the future, and to also begin to do all those things, we had been too busy to complete, or even attempt before. I have since added more items to my own bucket list, than I can ever hope to complete, but I have managed to check off a few.

There can be a darker side to this process. In this movie, the plot portrayed a woman who during her youth, was quite promiscuous. She later married a wonderful man and began a family. Then one day she reconnects with someone from her past, and begins to spiral downward once more, into a frenzied "rage to live."

At the time my friends and I were having the discussion that initiated the idea for this story, I realized that some of my own past behaviors could be questioned. As a boomer in my 60s, I have already passed through several of these periods, where someone just might say about me, "he's having a mid-life crisis."

To be honest, I don't believe in the concept of a mid-life crisis. I think we are in a crisis mode all of our adult lives. Each year time seems to accelerate. Our bodies and our minds loose strength and tone. Whoever initiated the reference to these times as the "Golden Years," should be shot!

We grasp at whatever we can to try and stave off the inevitable. One behavior that is quite common is to change generational contact. We begin find more friends who are younger. We adopt their dress, hobbies, and even their music.

Sometimes in a rage to live and remain young, like the lady in the move, we do things we know to be wrong. We seek pleasures and activities that society rejects as immoral.

Sadly, none of this ever really works. The cycle of life grinds onward, and we follow even as we struggle to slow it down.

On a shelf in my medicine cabinet, is a box of "Touch of Grey." It has rested there for several years now. My hair and facial hair are both very white. I bought that box with the idea that I would be able to gradually bring back some of my youthful hair color.

I have never opened it. Everyone who knows me would realize in an instant, that I had "done something to my hair!" I realized that while I very much have an active "rage to live," I never want to be one of those comical individuals. You know the ones I'm referring too.

The ones who let their "rage to live," cause them to dress, act, and color their hair, as if they were in their 30's, not their real age. No, I have a rage to live, but it just won't be with "red hair" anymore!