Emotional well-being: just as important as physical well-being

I wrote last week about the need for our department to get more involved with physical fitness and programs that may be coming available to help with that. We have also been looking at other aspects of the job that can cause stress, depression and other problems outside of work. Statistics show that divorce, suicide, and depression greatly increase when a person enters the world of law enforcement.

One area we are finding that receives very little attention is how to transition every day from the law enforcement world to the family life at home. Most people do not realize it, but cops have their own language. Everything they do requires documentation, justification, and quick decision making. A high-stress event that may happen on occasion to an average person happens to an officer several times per shift.

I have been in many conversations over the years where an off-duty officer makes a comment that sounds perfectly normal to me, but it is when you notice all the bewildering stares that you realize no one else has any idea what you are talking about.

Being a cop is not something you can just leave at the door when you come home from work. You see a nice car; the cop sees the tags on the car. You look for any place to set in a restaurant; the cop looks for a seat where his back will not be to the door. You see a small child smiling and think how cute they are; the cop sees the small child and is reminded of the one they pulled from the head-on collision the day before. Could this cause some miscommunication or misunderstandings to those around them? Would it be strange if a wife came home to find this letter from her husband, who is also a cop?

"Dear wife,

The kids were acting up while you were out and I got called in to assist so I thought it would be good to document the incident in case the kids tried to deny what happened later and object to their punishment.

On 1/24/2016 at approximately 18:27 hours I, John Doe, AKA Dad, was in the recliner in the living room watching the ball game when I heard yelling and arguing coming from the back bedroom. I responded and made contact with Daniel and Thomas (our sons).

I asked Daniel what happened and he said that Thomas pushed him because they were arguing over a game. Daniel then said he pushed Thomas back in self-defense causing them both to fall to the ground. I ran both names through our schedule book and found both kids were supposed to be doing homework until 19:00 hours. Both kids were then released to the dining room table to start their work.

Because both kids have a prior history of arguing and pushing, I am requesting both parties be grounded and held at home without exception. End of report."

Although this is a little exaggerated, this type of "documenting" is what an officer does every day, so to them it is perfectly normal. Why does he or she get so jumpy around certain people? Why do they come up with every excuse to not go into Wal-Mart or any other public place where they could run into anyone, and why do they seem to get so distracted with every car that drives by, or person that walks down the street?

This line of work can cause communication problems with family and close friends and it takes adjustments and understanding from both sides to make it work. Along with the physical fitness programs, we will also be working on programs that will help in these other areas.