Andy Would Have Been On This!

Last week, I purchased my regular "100 Percent Dark Roast Colombian Coffee," and once again, the container appears to have mysteriously diminished in size. As I fretted over this continually frustrating business/marketing practice, I took time to remember the famous former "watchdog" for such things, Andy Rooney!

Like many of you, I loved watching Andy in his regular CBS "60 Minutes" segment, "A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney." His "Grumpier Old Men" slant on everyday life, was informative, but more importantly, entertaining.

When I checked out his bio on Wikipedia, I was amazed to discover that he had been gone more than 4 years. The picture that accompanied this material, made me smile. There he was once more, in a rumpled suit and tie. His hair looked like he needed a cut, and those famous eyebrows, still dominated the photo.

Andy was perhaps the last of the great newspaper journalists who made the transition to television. His background and experiences, gave him a very special "American" viewpoint of the world and the news.

He was drafted into the army in 1941. He became a regular correspondent for Stars and Stripes throughout World War II. He was not a stay behind the lines reporter. He flew in the second ever American bombing raid over Germany, and was embedded with troops in theaters all over Europe during the conflict.

Maybe that was why Andy was so honest and unafraid to cover any story all through his career. He had seen the worst of humanity in Nazi Germany.

Several years ago, Andy aired his thoughts on the subject of container sizes, for many of our most famous products. That was why my mind immediately returned to Andy after I looked at the actual size, of my latest coffee can.

First of all, the term can is no longer appropriate. The famous metal coffee cans have been missing for some time, on grocery shelves. Today, we have these supposedly improved plastic containers. I have no evidence to support my contention, but personally I think plastic changes the taste of just about anything that resides within.

I remember back in my college days when the movie, "The Graduate," came out. There was this famous line voiced by one of Benjamin's father's friends, "go into plastics!" At the time most of us gave only the merest of passing thought to that famous quote. Was that ever a mistake? The writer of that line appears to have had a crystal ball to see into the future, because plastics dominate our world today.

So here I was, checking out my latest plastic coffee container. Instead of the famous old 3-pound (48 oz,) coffee can of old, this mere shadow of a product, now contained only 24.2 ounces or 1 pound 8.2 OZ. Am I being a bit of a conspiracy nut? They actually made that plastic container (.2 OZ) larger than half the size of the old 3-pound can! Why not just make it half size at 24 OZ?

My issues with this business malpractice are simple. First of all, why can't we have coffee offered in the old fashioned cans? Secondly, whey do they keep cutting the size of the containers?

I have no answer to the first question. I don't know why it is easier to make plastic containers, rather than metal. Besides my aversion to the taste of products that come in plastic, there is the issue of trash. Many of the plastic containers never degrade in a landfill.

The second question is easily answered. If the coffee company (this applies to a variety of products) had begun to raise their price every few months on the old 3-pound container, people would have recognized such increases immediately.

On the other hand, if you keep your prices about the same, but reduce the size of the can, you can boost profits, while many of your customers remain blissfully unaware.

Another issue I have with retail sales has to do with product location. In the past few years, I find it increasingly difficult to shop in some of our local retail stores. Wal-Mart is a perfect example. It is a huge super center, so each time I go there, I make a mental course plan, so I can fill my cart without making needless treks around the store.

They must have some "bean counter" in their corporate office. Their job is to get you to wander endlessly throughout the store. Just about the time I learn product locations, they move them. I can't tell you how many times our local chain has moved their coffee shelves. I can inform that "bean counter" that they are missing the boat with me. Each year that passes I buy less and less at their store, because I simply don't like to search aimlessly.

At our other local grocery chain, I have a bone to pick too. Why do you keep adding more and more displays in the aisles? Just last week, I was going to pick up a container of a certain product that they had listed in the store's sale ad. When I arrived at that location, there was a display of other products sitting right in front of my desired selection. I was forced to carefully reach around and try to get at my product, all the while fearful that I would send the display sprawling across the floor.

In the past there was a common saying, "the customer is always right!" Weil many of us don't feel much that way anymore, when we visit your stores.

I will close with one final thought regarding reverting to the old ways. You can now only buy soda pop in plastic or metal containers. The old-fashioned glass returnable bottles are no more. Our landfills are clogged with the disposable containers. How many of you even have a pop bottle opener anymore? I bet Andy had one!