Bad judgment and unbelievably bad decisions

A few weeks ago I talked about the strange regularity we find when it comes to criminals giving us the same answers for the same crimes. Almost like they learn from the same "teacher." In the law enforcement world, you could say we do not deal with the brightest of the bunch and it always surprises me what they are willing to do, in many cases do, without thinking. When teaching law enforcement classes, I always remind those in attendance about the importance of remembering that we deal mostly with people who have chosen to commit crimes, but those people do not cast a good reflection on how most people really are.

Some of the decisions people make are from desperation, guilt, greed, anger, and some are simply because they do not have any brain cells, or choose not to use the ones they have. If one could read through every report we take in just a years' time, they would read stories so comical they could not stop laughing; they would read stories so disturbing, it would make them angry, and so heartbreaking, it would make them cry. I am not sure what changes in someone's head to be able to do some of the things they do and aside from drugs and alcohol, I have no answers.

We had someone cut their finger off while in the jail, hoping they would get "released" from custody so they could go to the hospital. If this sounds unbelievable, try believing that this was the second time it has happened. Neither person got released from jail, they just got a shorter finger and some stiches. We also had a guy cut his finger off with a shovel (after trying to cut his legs and arm off) and then called a week later and demanded we return his finger to him. He was found to be under the influence of a controlled substance.

We served a search warrant at a residence and found a closet door in a bedroom that had a large padlock on it and a sign that read "keep out." With the extensive training the investigators receive, they decided to look inside the locked door with a sign. The closet was full of drugs and money. That did not seem to be too far off the wall for a drug dealer, but what surprised us was the second time we served a search warrant on the same house, it was in the same place with the same sign!

We asked the suspect if the key was still in the "usual hiding place" and they said "yeah it's still there." It helped us out a lot since we already knew right where to look, but the suspect became angrier the second time they were being arrested than they had the first time. As they were being walked out in handcuffs they looked at me and said "I can't believe you found it again." That's when you know they have taken too much of their own product.

We have taken reports of chickens attacking people, reports of dangerous "vibes" being sent illegally through the walls of a house (we were very curious to know what "vibes" could be sent legally) and we have even taken reports from people who claimed to have had items stolen from them that they stole first! And then they acted so confused when they got arrested.

I have had people ask me if they could stay in the jail for a while longer because they were not "done" yet. And it was just last month we had an inmate try to jump from a transport van only to learn that you cannot make a leap from a van when your feet are shackled together. He learned how that works when he took a nose dive into the pavement but who knows, maybe he will try it again someday. No matter what bad decisions they make, we will always be there for our "customers."