'Is That All There Is?'

These words are from the title and lyrics, from the Grammy Award winning blues song from 1969, sung by legendary blues and jazz artist, Peggy Lee. I have always loved her soulful recording, but lately it reminds me of aging and other musings.

The online encyclopedia wikipedia states, "the lyrics of this song are written from the point of view of a person who is disillusioned with events in life that are supposedly unique experiences ... after each recital she expresses her disappointment in the experience. She suggests that we "break out the booze and have a ball--if that's all there is."

I decided to write about this song and the feelings it represents to me, following a series of personal reflections. The first of my sentiments is what I will refer to as "humdrum." Humdrum is defined as lacking variety, boring, dull, with a character of routine or monotony.

For most people my age, humdrum has become a way of everyday living. The very act of writing this column is monotonous. I do love and enjoy the themes I select for these stories, but there is a plodding repetitiveness, to the actual process.

Don't get me wrong, my vanity is thoroughly and sufficiently pampered, by the oft-welcomed compliments I receive from some of my regular readers. Still, there are times, when the accolades, and my own satisfaction gained from these essays, do not appear to be enough.

I continue to feel a responsibility to my readers and myself, to discover some new and relevant subject for discourse. Once my composition for the week is completed, I enjoy a variety of senses that include pride, attainment, pleasure, and conceit. For a brief time, my egocentric feeling of self worth is whetted, before I return to the more normal human occupation of humility, and realize I am not nearly as important, as I would like to believe.

Despite all my efforts and the rewards gained from the publishing of these columns, I invariably reach the same point of melancholy each week, and I say to myself once more, "is that all there is?"

My everyday life in these latter years seems to be just as humdrum as my writing. I regularly experience two very different reactions. On the one hand, like anyone my age, I am repeatedly amazed, at how fast time seems to be flying by. "Can Labor Day really be this Monday, it seems like summer just started a few days ago?"

The other perspectives I feel about time, are the mundane repetitions that occupy the dates in my personal calendar. Early in the week I write. Three days a week I have cardio rehab at NRMC. Thursdays are shopping and appointment days. Four days a week it is golf, weather permitting, with my fellow seniors.

I have my list of regular television shows, and I set my DVR so I won't miss them. I try to attend as many local sporting events as possible, and both my Kansas City Royals' and Chief's games, are absolute must sees.

While this is just a partial peek into my daily life rhythm, it does show the degree of regularity that has become my seemingly never ending daily, weekly, monthly, and finally yearly, schedules. Is it any wonder, that the sheer evenness of my senior existence, causes me to wonder, "is that all there is?"

For me, and I suspect most of my fellow senior citizens, we have the poignant expectations of inevitabilities. They are possibilities for us, that cause us to contemplate, "which of these must I endure." Will I become senile and spend my latter years in a facility? What infirmity will come my way first? Will it be cancer, a stroke, a broken hip, or just a gradual descent into a state, where I can't even rise to my feet, without assistance?

The will to live a full and abundant life is still there, but at times my passion for life seems to have waned with time. It is as if my years of successes and failures, have changed my outlook. In my younger life, I often let my emotions rule my thoughts and actions. I was quick to say what was on my mind, regardless of its impact.

These days I often don't say something out loud, because I have built in over time, a safety switch for my mouth. I stop and think, "it won't make any difference, so just keep it to yourself!"

That has been especially true over this past year plus of endless politics. I have valued friends, who are in my own words, "eaten up with politics!" Both sides of the political landscape are equally represented.

In a recent discourse on Facebook, one person wrote ... I hope people wake up before it's too late. If ... is elected, we may not have a country in four years!" I could tell you which candidate they are referring to, but the truth is, that this statement is repeatedly made about both.

Luckily, I enjoy spending time with several of my fellow seniors, who have the same feelings as I do about this election season. Most of us knew a long time ago who we would likely vote for. We wish it was all over and done with. For many of us, the last thing we want to add to our short time left in life, is to spend it addicted to a daily regimen or diet of politics on television or the Internet.

So, for those of my readers and friends, who are either very interested in politics, or like me totally inured with the process, I have only this advice. It will all be over in a few weeks, and life will go on. The country will survive, as it has throughout many other elections.

Soon we will return to the humdrum lives we led before this political season, and we will all be asking, "is that all there is?"