Acceleration and time

My concept regarding the passage of time continues to experience an increase in velocity, further emphasized in the dictionary by the simple word, acceleration. This is not a new issue for anyone, as they grow older. While I accept the inevitability of this phenomenon that does not by any means require me to accept it gracefully!

A few days ago I was invited to a luncheon to celebrate the upcoming 96th birthday of a friend. The conversation during the meal turned to one of the common issues of aging, which we all shared that of our inability to recall the names of once familiar people and friends.

In our discussion we agreed that while this inability to remember names was irritating and sometimes inconvenient it is only the tip of the iceberg of aging memory issues. We began to list the many other areas of failing mental acuity that we have begun to notice more and more.

Later that day I reflected and expanded my interest in this age, time and memory issue. There appears to be a host of milestones that one passes through on the aging path.

Reflection is something that one does in their latter years. One of my common but very wistful actions is to look back upon different periods in my life and ask the question — “what if?” What if I had taken this course of study in school? What if I had met or not met a particular person? What if I had made this career choice? What if I had left the Midwest and headed to a big city? The list of these melancholy daydreams is never ending. If only I had done this, oh how things would have, or could have, been different. All the while, you realize that your life is what it is, has been and will remain so. Even though I know I can’t change the past my revisionist idea of how my past could have been different gives me some sense of comfort.

Anytime a group of elderly people discuss time and age they always come around to the issues of health and death. Now that we have arrived at the point where we are designated as senior citizens these topics are relevant and never far from our thoughts.

Obituaries and funerals head this list. In my early adult years I paid scant attention to the obituary listings. When you are young, death in relation to yourself, family, or friends, is just not something you allocate time for thought. To be honest, in our younger years, we were just not able to conceive our own demise.

That all changes naturally as one ages. We are encouraged to consider aging and death by many factors. One’s own body and general health begin to send you clear signals. I am not certain at what age I actually began to accept my own aging process, but I suspect it was when I passed the mid century point of life, age 50. Even in my 40s, I retained some basic feeling of youth, but at some point I just knew I had passed into senior citizen status.

Funerals and obituaries become more and more a part of senior’s daily regime. Viewing these obituaries I recognize that these compatriots of my era have gone on and I also accept that their passing is a reminder that my own time is finite.

Another all too often reminder of my aging, involves my adaption to my new limitations. Simple actions that one has been able to easily complete are now less and less available to us. Some of these are in our physical limitations.

The tasks around ones home and yard are great examples. You are no longer able to use the lawn mower or Weed Eater. Forget about cleaning out the gutters. This was brought home recently following our early spring “hail” storms. If you were a senior you didn’t get out the ladder and go look for hail damage on your roof.

Nothing causes more consternation among seniors than the thought of not being able to have the ability to live safely on their own. It is a lot more disturbing than the obituary column for me when I hear of some acquaintance, who has had to move into a nursing home. Most seniors will admit to each other their secretly held belief and wish for a more expedited end to their life. They don’t seek death, but they definitely don’t want to linger in a state of mental and physical helplessness.

The final age time issue is perhaps the most commonly held belief. Time begins to pass ever so rapidly. My own graduating NHS Class of 1967 is hosting our 50th reunion this summer. Over and over, you hear the same response from fellow class members, “It can’t be 50 years can it?”

This past weekend, my granddaughter celebrated her ninth birthday. My immediate thought was, “that can’t be!” It was just yesterday that she was a tiny baby of less than 3 months old, when I first held her.

The county music Carter Family had a famous recording of the song, “Will the Circle be Unbroken?” The lyrics express a lament at the passing of a loved one and the concept of their eventual reuniting.

When I hear that song I have another thought process. It reminds me that my own life and that of all my friends and family are connected by the wheels of time and aging.

As I am writing my first draft of this article I am awaiting the time for my morning golf outing with some fellow seniors. Golf for us is microcosm of life. We know we have an ending to our golf life but that doesn’t stop us from striving and enjoying each golf day that we have left. There is an old saying that best reflects my view of time and aging — “Go not gently into that good night!”