Domestic violence; a troubling call

It is a common trend for domestic violence and other related calls to rise during the holidays, and this year was no exception. With deputies responding to multiple domestic calls the first week of the new year, it does not appear to be slowing down as we leave the holiday season behind us.

Domestic violence-related calls can be dangerous for the victims involved, as well as law enforcement responding to the call. Because of the nature of these incidents, it is often hard to determine who the aggressor is and who the victim is.

Because these types of calls always involve someone who is a family member, or people in a relationship, responding officers must attempt to determine who the primary physical aggressor is. These types of calls are different than most other calls a deputy may respond to because of the motive and intent of not just the suspect, but also the victim.

While it is common for the victim in a theft case to cooperate in the prosecution of the case, it is also very common for the victims of domestic violence calls to be uncooperative, and even request for there to be no charges or arrests because they do not want the family member or loved one going to jail even though they were the victim of a crime.

I was at a call once where a young girl had been injured while the parents were fighting. The mother had been hit several times, and the young girl had called 911 for help. When we arrived, the young girl was crying and appeared to be afraid of the father, but while we were placing the father under arrest, the young girl became angry and said she would “kill us” if we touched her father.

It can be confusing and extremely hard for children who become victims of domestic violence because they know something happening is wrong, they feel the fear of what could still happen, but they also love their parent and want to protect them.

In cases of adults, we often find they feel torn with wanting to leave a relationship that has become violent but also holding out hope it will get better and they can forget everything that has happened.

Several years ago, I responded to a call of a domestic in progress and when I arrived, I found a lady crying on the front porch with a black eye and a cut on her arm. The call was reported by a neighbor, and although they heard the screaming, they could not see who the person was that left before we arrived. The lady refused to tell us saying because she was sure he was “sorry” and would not do it again. We tried to get her to talk to us or at least talk to a counselor, but she refused any help we offered.

A few weeks later we got a call at the same house, again by a neighbor, and this time the lady was laying in the floor of her living room with a broken jaw, broken nose, and her eyes swelled shut. She was rushed to the hospital to be treated. The suspect was charged, but the victim refused to assist, and even changed her story, causing the case to be dismissed.

Being in a relationship that becomes violent can be one of the hardest things to overcome and deal with, and it can be hard for the victim to know what the right thing is to do. When they call 911 out of fear, they often second guess their decision after the danger is no longer present. Often, what victims of domestic violence need more than anything is for someone to let them know they care and be there to talk and to help them make the right decision before it is too late.

Members of law enforcement want to help, but sadly they are often involved because it has already become violent and someone has been hurt. For those who have found they have become a victim of domestic violence, there are people willing to talk with them and help them through their struggles. It can be hard asking someone for help, but there are people in our community who do care and are willing to help if called upon.