Top five hiding places

Most of the time it is dark and quiet outside, and everyone is sleeping as they should be; everyone except for the ones at the drug house we are about to kick open the door to. In this house, they are still awake, vacuuming their couch or adding more tape to the aluminum foil over their windows. Their drugs are in their pocket so if they hear one strange sound they can rush to the bathroom and flush them down the toilet. The only problem is the glass pipes often keep all the baggies that were thrown in with it from going down. The only thing left that you can do when you realize deputies are about to come in your house is hide!

It was around this time last year that I released the top 5 best places to hide if you are of the criminally inclined profession. All these places to hide are still used a great deal, but there has been a shake up in the order and we have a new winner.

5. Hiding under the covers or clothes. This option should not be in the top five most used hiding places, but unfortunately it is. Although most of us stop using this method of hiding when we are two years old, many criminal want-to-be masterminds still try hiding under the covers when we come looking for them so once again, it makes our list. This hiding place is one of the fastest to access if you are already in bed and requires the least amount of work. The downfall to it is we can see your feet sticking out from the end, or the shape of a body under the covers on the bed. And we always look, so unfortunately it does not have a very good success rate.

4. Hiding in the bathtub or shower. Using your bathtub to wash off is one of the best uses for such a device, but many also use it to hide from the cops. It offers better protection for hiding when a shower curtain is included but still makes it easy for the cops to find you.

3. Hiding in the walls. Hiding in the walls of your house can offer much more protection than under the covers or in the bathtub, but this one can require much more work and will require no symptoms of being claustrophobic. The downside to this hiding place is that in order to get in a wall, you must make a hole large enough to fit in and we can therefore see that someone may be in the wall. In cases where your walls are metal (like in a trailer) we can see the large “bump” in the wall and will investigate further.

2. Hiding in the closet. The runner-up is the most convenient but offers very little coverage at all. While the closet is very accessible and easy to run to when you hear the deputies yelling “search warrant,” they will always look in the closet.

1. Hiding under the bed. This year, hiding under the bed takes the number one spot. Criminals attempting to hide from us have overcome their fear of the monster that may be lurking under the bed because it was used more than the others.

I wish I could say these hiding places were made up or exaggerated, but they are not. We find people hiding in these places quite often. People do not want to face the consequences of their actions, so they attempt to hide in order to avoid them. I would offer the following solution: when you make a bad decision, face it, and move on with your life like a responsible person. And an even better solution is not to break the law to begin with.